written on Sunday, Jun. 15, 2003 at 8:00 a.m.
It has not escaped my notice that I have done a terribly large amount of whining in here lately. Therefore, I hesitate before saying: I feel like poopy.
Gah.
All stuffy and headachy and kinda throat hurty and coughy -- lots of things that end in y. I'm debating on going to work in excellent spirits but pretending I just can't seem to talk very well. I figure I'll either get sent home or not have to work customer service all day. But with the luck I've had lately, I'd get neither and it would get terribly tiresome to keep up that charade all day. Rasping like an old woman is not nearly as much fun as one would think.
I'm sure the situation could only be bettered if I'd get my arse in bed before 3 am. Getting so little sleep only compounds feeling like poop. Funny how early in the morning I vow to go to bed that night, and by that night I've decided that 3 1/2 hours of sleep will be plenty.
Since you're probably dying for a positive word by this point -- my toes are pretty shiny metallic pink. Yay!
Oh, and although my eye is still bruised the piercing seems to be healing rather well. I'm certainly not out of the woods yet, but so far so good.
* * *
Remember how I said after my birthday I was going to try to lose weight again? Well, that hasn't happened yet. But I SWEAR, after we go on the trip to Virginia {which is 9 days from now}, I'm going to focus on that. I haven't really been eating all that much, but what I have been eating has been pure shit.
Not that I'm trying to displace blame -- I fully accept that my size is my fault -- I am an easily influenceable person. Although my friends all complain about their size from time to time, none of them are trying to do anything about it. They range from being probably a size 12-14 ish, to a size 16-18 ish to, at my best guess, a 22-24 ish. I find skinny people motivating, I find overweight people that are trying to lose weight motivating -- but people who are neither skinny nor interested in doing anything to become so sap my my motivation.
I mention this because I'm trying to identify and address my obstacles. I'm not really smoking up anymore, so the munchies aren't so much a problem now. But being too tired to cook healthy food and being surrounded by people who are basically comfortable with their size are problems. I have about two weeks to figure out a solution.
I'm considering rejoining Weight Watchers. I'm hoping that would help with the motivation factor, not to mention it's a very effective plan. The problem is figuring out what meeting I could go to without having to worry about work conflicting.
Alright -- I've babbled enough. Maybe I'll go do something productive.
Love,
