written on Tuesday, Jun. 24, 2003 at 1:46 p.m.
Well, today is the day. We're leaving in 8 hours and 15 minutes.
I'm started to feel a little amibivilant about the whole thing. This happens everytime I plan a trip to VA. In theory, it seems exciting and I'm always impatient waiting to go.
Then the day arrives. And I can't shake that semi-sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I start remembering how I feel in that town. Smothered, and haunted by ghosts of the past.
I'm hoping that taking Punky will offset that feeling. I can focus on showing her around and having a good time, rather than on the past and memories that always come up there. With her there, I have a part of my new life to remind me that I'm still better than all that small town bullshit. {Not to say that Boy counts for nothing, but he was a part of my life then, too. Therefore it's easy to get lost in the past, even when he's there.}
Gag. I sound really melodramatic and definitely like I need therapy. Both things are probably true.
I will enjoy this trip. I will. I won't be sad that nothing and everything are the same.
And in any case, come Friday morning we can book it outta there and head back toward Columbus. Surely I can survive two days.
Love,
