written on Sunday, Jun. 01, 2003 at 7:49 a.m.
Holy copious amounts of food, Batman. I feel ill now. I got one of those Deluxe Big Breakfasts from McD's. That was way, WAY too much food so early in the morning. It seemed like a much better idea before I ate it.
So now I'll just sit here, type and feel miserable til my poor body accomplishes preliminary digestion.
* * *
I think things are gonna be okay with Baby Momma now. Just call me Special Agent Cat, Chief Negotiator. I talked to her last night on IM for 2 hours, and by the end of the conversation, I think things were basically back to okay.
The night before, when Punky had talked to her, it basically consisted of them going around in circles and getting no where. BM would take a cheap shot, Punky would respond as calmly as possible, and then the cycle would repeat itself. That's how my conversation with her started as well. Particularly in regards to Punky. BM was saying some pretty nasty things. But I chose to ignore the nasty comments, focus on the mildly productive ones, and in the end asked her flat out what else we could do to make the situation better. Eventually she agreed there was nothing else we could do. We had already apologized, multiple times in fact, and all that was left was to move on. By the end of the conversation, she asked me to "give our husband and mistress hugs and kisses for me" {that's what she refers to Boy & Punky as}. An hour before that, Punky was ready to throw in the towel on the entire friendship
I feel a little ambivelent about it, though. On the one hand, I'm proud of myself that I worked through it. I didn't let my temper get me and I didn't pick up my toys and go home. I'm notorious for walking away when the going gets rough. If it were just my friendship with BM on the line, I probably would have. At some point, I would've ripped her a new ass and turned the computer off. But because she and Punky have been friends for so long, and their friendship means so much to one another, I wanted to try and work it out.
On the other hand, I'm not particularly happy with the way I patched things up. I accepted all the blame onto the three of us, when she was just as at fault as we were. Okay, so sometimes we didn't call her -- but she didn't call us, either. Phones work two ways. I also let cheap shots at Punky slide, instead of calling her on it. I particularly feel bad about that, and although I'm sure Punky knows why I did it, it still bothers me.
I know that sometimes that's what friendship is about. Eating crow when you shouldn't be dining alone. But I dealt with a lot of that in high school, and let too many people push me around. Eventually I built up my defenses so that I never let anyone in and never let anyone hurt me. I don't want to go back to a pattern where I take all the abuse she wants to dole out. I know she's down, and she's having a tough time right now, and I'm willing to let one incident go. But if it becomes a pattern, I'd rather walk away and have no friends again than to be walked all over.
* * *
I did get some vindication at work yesterday, though. While one lowly boss is trying to get Punky and I in trouble, the two head bosses were busy being impressed with me. I like that a lot. Perhaps the trouble maker should stop and consider that the important bosses don't really like her, and apparently they do like me. It would do her well to keep that in mind.
Love,
