written on Monday, May. 12, 2003 at 1:55 p.m.
Why is friendship so complicated?
Chicky is apparently angry at me. I'm not exactly sure why, but I think it has something to do with my friendship with Punky, Baby Momma and the rest of the group.
She has always been somewhat jealous. If I get a new friend, or if friends come in from out of town, she doesn't want to talk to me or be around them. And mostly since we met something over 3 years ago, I haven't really had any friends other than Nikki and Galadriel. Chicky was the only one I got to hang out with much in real life.
For the last few weeks, since I've been hanging out with the girls, she hasn't really wanted to talk to me. She has either avoided my calls, only talks for a couple of minutes and/or sits in silence the whole time.
When I told her we went to the movies with a bunch of people, she said "How the hell do YOU know EIGHT PEOPLE?", and when I asked her if she wanted to come up on Thursday evening, she laughed. LAUGHED.
I'd be lying if I said I had a huge emotional connection to her. I don't. Never really have. She's very much a user. She uses me for whatever she thinks she can get, usually as a place to stay with she wants to come to Columbus and hook up with some random guys. My heart is definitely not breaking over all this. But it's still silly. Absolutely silly. It IS possible to have more than one friend.
Then there's a whole different mess with Punky & BM. BM has suddenly became very interested in Boy, or a 3-some with us. However she doesn't want Punky to know about it. I don't really like the idea of doing anything behind Punky's back, and for that matter I'm not sure how I feel about the idea of doing it at all. BM has a lot of baggage. She's not BABY Momma for no reason.
I feel like I'm on some jacked up soap opera. Gah.
Love,
